I hope you all had an amazing holiday and survived having to socialise, mostly intact 😉
So, good news? UNDER ROSE-TAINTED SKIES is being released in the UK THIS YEAR!!!!
Chicken House are designing their own cover as we speak. I can’t wait to see it, and show you guys, obvs!
Also, I’m going to London!!! WHUT?! Yup. It’s true…
Chicken House are throwing a Book Breakfast party for their authors, and I got an invite!
I know what you’re thinking… and the answer is… I have no fricking idea how I’m going to do this, but it’s happening.
For those of you who are interested, here is how we’ve been getting ready. Also, although they may never read this, I want to express my endless gratitude to the wonderful people who are helping me sort my shit out and making this trip seem a little more possible, every day…
Going down to London on my own would have been impossible. As a lot of you know, I can’t step beyond my driveway alone, so I spoke to Chicken House, and they said my mum and Rach are both very welcome. Guys, I LOVE CHICKEN HOUSE!
We bought first class tickets because we’re so damn fancy… 😉 I kid. We decided to travel first in the hope of being able to hideout in the first class lounge and avoid big crowds…medium crowds… small crowds…crowds…a gathering of greater than two people.
I couldn’t do any of the train ticket booking or hotel room reserving because it freaked me out and made me wobbly. And wobbly, freaked-out Louise is about as useful as a chocolate fire guard, so Rach sorted all that.
I hit the sales and bought way too much stuff to take with me — I think they call this panic buying 😉 I didn’t need any more stuff. I’m not sure where my head was, but my subconscious must have been like, you don’t want to show up naked, right?! Like I would do that. My head is ridiculous.
I’ve bought gloves because I don’t want to be an asshole and reach for sanitizer every time I shake a stranger’s hand. I’m not great at pressing the flesh, but I want to be able to meet and greet without offending anyone. I’ve gotten the sanitizer out in front of people before, and, real talk, people are hurt by it. It doesn’t matter how much you try to explain that it’s not them, that it wouldn’t matter if they’d bathed in bleach, that my mind is a dick and only believes what it wants, people’s feelings will get hurt when you imply they’re some kind of unclean, so I figured gloves was a good way to not (unintentionally) upset (potential) new friends.
The breakfast is a buffet. This had been rotting my mind for a while, so, after a little encouragement from my friends, I called Jazz at Chicken House, and then felt like a total burden, not to mention a complete nut job, as I asked her if I could have some toast set aside. She told me not to worry, and that she would absolutely see to it that I got some food set aside . Did I mention that I LOVE CHICKEN HOUSE?!?!
Anyways…My best friend has been hooking me up with videoes, pictures and articles of the train, the route, the station, the distance… all the things I need to get to know. My BFF thinks I’ll feel better if I eliminate as many “unknowns” as possible. I gotta say, it’s helping.
Talks are happening, meds are happening, therapy, hypnotherapy, relaxation therapy and even some shock therapy has been going on since Christmas…
I’ve dropped a dress size. I’ve broken out. I keep crying. I’m obsessively hand washing, scratching, date checking, chewing, teeth brushing, and collecting handkerchiefs under my pillow (*shrug* no idea what that’s about). I have a permanent headache. I can barely focus on anything. I haven’t slept properly in weeks, and this stringy lump keeps appearing in my throat…
I can honestly say that everyday, it all feels a little less scary.
Tomorrow Rach is ringing the hotel to double check the booking, and she’s going to ring Virgin trains and let them know my situation. I will probably unpack my bag, repack it, add some spare something that I don’t need. We’ll do some more therapy, possibly take a scary walk round to the shop, and continue the ‘Days Until Departure’ countdown.
Thanks for letting me ramble. It always helps when I write it down!